By Matt Miner
May 31, 2018
Mr Meru’s Million – Part 1
From scenic Draper, Utah the orthodontist gets
A furrowed brow as he looks out to where the Tesla sits.
Mike’s income statement’s solid; his family’s not in pain
But his balance sheet is shaky, much like Italy or Spain.
Mike thinks of Dear Aunt Sally, and Uncle Freddy too.
He thinks about his loans and groans, “Good grief! What can I do?”
“I owe a stone-cold million to the Federal Government.
As I survey my history, I wonder where it went?
Was it the Benz I bought on time for my commute to school?
Or USC’s posh facilities? Have you seen them? Man, they’re cool!
But I am not too worried about my ghastly debt.
With income-based repayment, I’ll slay this monster yet!”
“For Five-and-Twenty years I’ll send some sixteen hundred smackers
Each month off to my servicer and their financial backers.
Then when it’s through the IRS for income tax will dun me,
But with good taste in cars and clothes, at least my friends won’t shun me.
The friendly US Taxpayer will forgive ‘bout two million
When thought about in these terms - Hey! - my plan is pretty brillion!”
The poem above is inspired by the Wall Street Journal article “Mike Meru has $1 Million in Student Loans. How Did That Happen?”